Wednesday 4 June 2008

Give me an "H"

The other night a major event advertisement was shown on Channel 4. What like a live ad or something you ask? Well exactly. You err guessed right. A live ad! On tv! Yes well me too. We knew it was a major event because they told us it was in advance - an ad for an ad - now that is ground breaking.

But after the buildup what the ad actually showed was a group of skydivers (what is the collective noun for a group of skydivers? A plunge? A plummet?) forming each of the letters of "honda" the car manufacturer. Remember those 70s documentaries of synchronised skydivers that were so exciting in the 70s? It was like that. Without editing. Or excitement. First they formed an "H", then they broke up and then formed an "O", then a "N", and...well you get the rest. Then they all crashed into the ground and died horribly. If only it had been "ground breaking" in that sense.

What was interesting was that the ad stated "filmed live over Spain (except on Ch4+1)". Presumably they picked Spain to maximise their chances of good weather conditions. Then it occured to me that they probably had film crews and plummets set up all over Europe. Imagine announcing you were going to do a groundbreaking live ad (again, yawn) and then had to cancel it.

Sky+ is the limit

The new ads for Sky+ feature a selection of talking heads stating how their lives have been transformed with the new Sky+ anytime feature. It includes Michael Parkinson (national treasure, male), Mariella Frostrup (yummy mummy, radio 4), Ross Kemp (tv tough guy), David Gower (sporty, toffish), and Felicity Kendall (national treasure, female). They all seem to have been chosen with a precision bordering on control freakery to get us to identify with them and sign up to the new service. Note that it doesnt include a single footballer presumably because football fans already have Sky on their illegal dishes.

The curious thing though is their complete lack of animation or conviction in delivering their (obviously scripted) ringing personal endorsements. It is as though the ad's producer has asked them to repeat, for the hundreth time, the same lines, "but this time with just a little more oomph! darling" and created just the opposite effect. They all look constipated frankly. It must have been worst for Ross Kemp as he has to deliver an "amusing" aside (with laugh) to the effect that his gran records the snooker (geddit? his gran! the snooker! makes you laugh!) because he has clearly repeated it 99 times already. He is requiring all his actoring skills (which aren't great as you'll know from his most famous role as tough guy Grant Mitchell in East Enders, or his other famous role as a SAS tough guy or any of his more recent breakout tough guy roles) to give a spontaneous chuckle as he realises how funny it sounds - my gran! the snooker! hah! (What is it with his eyes by the way? Surely he makes enough money he could afford to get whatever it is fixed. Or is that boss eyed look a critical component of his tough guy image?)

Even Flick looks like she is ready to throttle someone as she delivers the final line "something that was really quite difficult is now, actually quite easy (unlike doing this fucking ad)". They obviously edited that last bit out.